My father used to say that if you don’t look hard enough, you will never remember.
He was wrong.
I remember the faces of everyone, all the 49 of them. And that’s not all. Their families; a mourning mother, a broken father, the blank faced widow and the dirty slimy children, I remember them all. Ever inch of their wrinkled faces and sagged bodies is tattooed upon my brain, slicing deeper and deeper like the knife I used to stab their hearts with. Every millimeter of cut bringing so much pain that you wish for death yet are dragged back to the inferno that is life.
My father used to train me. When I was younger, he would take me to work with him. He charged his customers a lot though, but then again, he was the best man available for the kill. Being his heir, even better was expected of me. I fancied my father. He was my ideal, so I worked and trained until I started working instead of my father. Did I tell you he died last year? Fell off the staircase and broke his neck. How the mighty fall. It’s pitiable. It did teach me though, no matter what you are, the end is the same for everyone.
And now, my end is coming. The cuts are so deep they cannot heal, I know it. I have given cuts and karma hit me back harder each time. ”
Rick’s face might have been blank, his black eyes like two pits yet his eyes screamed.
The doctor listened quietly. He knew Rick. He had treated him before but this time the doctor knew it was a fruitless effort. Rick was too deep in guilt.
Rick reached home late that night. He knew visiting the doctor was useless. For some, talking helped but for Rick it just made the facts much more real and even more burdensome to carry. While driving home, a street lamp casted dim shadows and suddenly died. Rick saw Samantha Lane’s face in the shadows cast by the lamp and suddenly poof. Samantha’s husband wanted her dead because he was sick and tired of her and could not divorce her due to family pressure. In the shadows of his door, Nelson stared at him. The door had irregular cuts and Rick noticed it looked like Dean Mayor’s face.
Inside too, it was the same. More faces, more illusions. They haunted him like the ghosts underneath his bed hen he was a kid. At least he was assured he wouldn’t have to add the doctor to his list. He had been working for Rick for a long time and wouldn’t dare utter a word to the authorities. He was well aware of the repercussions. Rick opened the pizza to the sight of James face. His cup looked like Peter’s face was chalked on it.
He left his apartment. He could not eat. Everything disgusted him; his house, his belongings, himself. He drove to the sea. The moon cast a sharp shadow on earth. The sea roared and bellowed, its waves like the mouths of a thousand starving monsters, devouring anything in their way. He went up a small cliff and sat there, feet dangling from the edge. The sky was covered in dark fluffs of clouds. Water hit the base of the cliff in a thundering rage, splashing and soaking Rick’s shoes. He looked down and saw Carter staring back. Another wave hit the cliff. The Mullah that was killed for spreading Islamic Teachings rose from the fog, appraising Rick through half-closed eyes. Rick panicked. It was the Mullah’s fault. Rick had started having nightmares after the Mullah. Wave after wave passed but the Mullah stayed.
No, I must not let him get away. Rick thought.
“You can’t go anywhere you hear me! I will have my revenge. You destroyed me.”
Rick shouted maniacally at the face staring almost amusedly back at him from the waves.
Taking out his pistol, Rick fired, once, twice. The Mullah remained.
Furious and frustrated, Rick jumped off of the cliff and swam towards the heart of the sea, all the while shouting and cursing.
A wave hit the sea like a stampede shaking Rick to his very core. The Mullah disappeared.
“No, no, no! You do not just leave. Come back and fight!”
Rick shouted in thin air. The waves crashed and chaos occurred, throwing Rick like a cardboard from one place to another.
The next day, the doctor received a call early in the morning, informing him if the death of a mysterious man found in the sea. Apparently, the doctor’s card was procured from his jacket. The doctor, upon the description, realized it was Rick.
He sealed Rick’s file and shifted it from ‘Hallucinations’ to ‘Death by Insanity’.
