Marriage. The unity of man and woman in holy matrimony. A decision that millions of couples make every year, in which they decide to spend their entire lives with someone they really like- or at least intend to.
It also means that after getting married the husband and wife are bestowed with certain rights, that they owe each other, and have an obligation to fulfill, legally and religiously. But the question that does arise often is; whether sex is also the husband’s right that he has over his wife?
While rape itself has very specific and strict laws that legally enforce the full brunt of the legal system on the offender, the boundaries become a little blurry when it comes to marital rape.
In technical terms, rape is defined, as ‘A criminal offence which involves one person forcing sexual relations with another, against the victims will.’ Hence, intrinsically the whole conundrum comes down to the issue of informed consent. Another question then surfaces; isn’t technically marriage itself a form of consent?
Well, no. In legal terms, marriage is defined as ‘the legal status, condition, or relationship that results from a contract by which one man and one woman, who have the capacity to enter into such an agreement, mutually promise to live together in the relationship of husband and wife in law for life, or until the legal termination of the relationship.’ Nowhere does it imply that marriage is consent for sex, rather it is a legal contract that conforms to the societal norms. Therefore, the husband still needs explicit, informed consent from his wife.
Recently, a video went around on the internet, in which a journalist Isobel Yeung is interviewing Nazir Ahmad Hanafi, an Afghan MP, on the issue of marital rape and when she asks him to define what he thinks rape is, he outright silences her, threatening to ‘cut off …[her]… nose [by giving her to an Afghan man]’. The problem with this statement is the fact that men seemingly think that they are obligated to receive what they want from their wives, because there’s a certain stigma attached to marriage itself that seemingly depicts it as a transfer of property, rather than legality; that property being the woman that is engaging in the contract as well.
It has been estimated that every 10 minutes, a man who has been entrusted with the well-being of his wife, subjects the same woman to marital rape. The fact of the matter is, statements like ‘Wife ho meri, haq banta mai mera’ (You are my wife, I have the right over you) depict that the majority of these offenders believe their wife(s) to be their personal property. Something with which they can do whatever they please. In addition to this, a huge chunk of females does not even know what articulates consent and they are the ones who seemingly become the major proponents of marital rape.
In conclusion, more dialogue is needed over what comprises marital rape, because according to some experts, it is the most widespread kind of rape. Not only do women need to be informed of the legal rights that they have, but the clerics that often parade the assumed superiority of men have to be explicitly demonstrated where they are wrong, what exactly rape and marital rape is, and the implications it can have on the whole well-being of society itself.
