It is pouring outside. The sky is also black with the occasional silver and gold of thunder slicing through it. And it is this sudden ephemeral shimmering that has me hooked. I keep peering outside, too eager to catch the next flash. Almost feels like the same charges of energy which pass through my soul amidst the sorrows it keeps drowning in – energy forcing me to kick a little more, surface a little more and breathe. I do not like the echo of thunder as much as I like the light, but I guess wisdom demands you to go through unpleasant moments before you gain access to it. I can also see the trees.
They are wet and wild, with the leaves burdened by sheets of water. But they are still standing – not giving into the force of the storm, not allowing it to uproot them and hurl them away. I can hear a cat meowing. She sounds a bit forlorn but somewhere in her voice I can also sense defiance like she is challenging the universe saying ‘What will you throw at me next? I am surviving this storm and you bet I can survive what comes after it too.’ All this I can see in those brief moments of flashing lights in the sky. I believe they are messages from above telling us that the darkness of the storm is not all that is real in the now. And sitting here in my room, some slivers of light are teaching me an important lesson in what they make visible for me tonight. We always survive our biggest fears because we are strong enough. What comes after that? Freedom.
When you face nightmarish situations head on and come out stronger than you ever expected, the walls of your own apprehension fall away. The part of your brain which says you cannot defeat your demons gets out of your way and then nothing can hold you back. It might be a paradox but experience and knowledge of the ancients dictates that sitting with our pain ultimately heals. It makes you softer, gentler, and capable of stepping into the shoes of those who are suffering so much better than it could ever have been possible before.
And perhaps if nothing else, this is what your soul looked for all this time while it was burdened with hurt and the unfairness of the situation – learning how to heal so that it could teach others the same art. It always gets better. Darkness and noise is not all that come with a storm, because when it clears, the world is much cleaner and more vibrant than it used to be.
